 The
Legend of GWAR began millions of years ago when the aliens rampaged
across the galaxy with a gang of space pirates called the Scumdogs
of the Universe. Falling out of favor with their Master, GWAR
was imprisoned on the most remote mudball planet in the galaxy...Earth.
After killing off the dinosaurs and inadvertently creating the
human species by raping prehistoric apes, GWAR began to significantly
influence the development of the planet, until that wild gig
in Atlantis, when it was decided that GWAR should be entombed
in Antarctica. Thus, preventing them from screwing up Earth
any further.
Several thousand years later GWAR were stumbled upon and
awakened by, Sleazy P. Martini, a known pimp, pusher, pornographer,
and record executive for Capitalist Records, accidentally
stumbled into GWAR's Antarctic tomb and woke them. He took
them to New York, gave them electric guitars, and began to
market them as his latest Rock-n-Roll sensation. Some of GWAR's
adventures are chronicled in their albums, comics, and videos,
but there are still plenty of GWAR stories waiting to be told.
Now the only way to truly validate your life before death
is to join the masses of "lowly zit-ridden scum of outcast
prepubescence" when GWAR comes to ravish and bloody your
mutant town.
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